When approaching a stranger you want to impress, exude confidence in your stance, even if you're on edge. Pull up to your full height in a subtle chest-thrust pose, which arches your back, puffs out your upper body and pushes out your buttocks. Roll your shoulders back and down and relax your facial expression.
Once you've started chatting, use encouraging body language such as postural echoing or mirroring, which creates a fast-track rapport. Copy their pace and style of movement, lean in slightly and always listen actively. Keep up eye contact when they're speaking and use nods ...hat are paced to their dialogue, a metronomic gesture to show that you are synchronised, which also suggests sexual compatibility.
Shyness signals are another important attraction device, as they make you appear vulnerable but approachable. Create a pick and mix of incongruent gestures by using one or two shyness signals (blushing, dipping the chin, giggling, face-touching) with confidence signals (sustaining eye contact, standing up straight, standing face to face to show your undivided attention). Make sure your gestures don't cause "cocooning", drop stances such as folded arms, crossed legs when standing and averting your eyes, which send out a disinterested message.
If you fancy being more overt, the "flick" is one of the most high-impact signals you can send. Allow your eyes to flit down to their mouth and back up to meet their eyes; this suggests kissing and, combined with a smile, subtle head-tilt, softened eye expression and slowed blink rates all signal sexual approval. Gently lowering the vocal tone is another powerful flirting mechanism, as it's a form of subliminal advertising for the sweet nothings you may whisper at a later stage.
Men in the throes of full-on flirting usually exaggerate their height, soften their facial expression, have dilated pupils, may have erect thumbs (a male sign of enjoyment) or splayed legs, use remotivating actions such as play-fighting to test your boundaries of touch and try to rope you off from the rest of the room. Increased self-awareness will make him carry out self-check rituals, such as chest-touches and fleeting skims over his hair, as well as performing face-checking rituals on you to make sure you remain attentive and affirmative.
Women often use pseudo-infantile motions such as the head-cock, a playful movement that aims to instil a feeling of protectiveness in their partner. They also tend to do intense eye-gazing with widened eyes, laugh exaggeratedly, and may be tactile with other people to advertise their skills.
Ladies should forget flaunting the cleavage and wear clothes that enhance their bottom. In animal terms, the bottom is the real turn-on, but because humans stand vertically, the underside or front has had to compensate with subtle erotic buttock mimicry such as breasts, knees or rounded shoulders. So when a woman shrugs, raises one shoulder or sits hugging her knees, she is subconsciously using a strong animal signal for sex. This works in the same way as the genital echo of reddened lips.
The date's probably not going so well if they start to scan the room, drop eye contact, open their body to the room rather than concentrating on you, drink quickly in an effort to escape, increase their blink rate - which signals boredom or irritation - or start carrying out self-attack gestures such as lip-biting or nail-picking. But you should avoid this negative body language if you listen actively, smile positively and always remember that your main objective is to have fun and explore.
Guide to dating
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